Just when I thought things were going to start smoothing out, I thought wrong. I was told over the weekend that my only parent left, his health is beginning to take a major nosedive. So far this year, I have lost all my grandparents, one this past January and the most recent was a couple of weeks ago up in NJ during a severe thunderstorm. Now my old man is beginning to prepare for his own death and tells me what he wants done and now here I am trying to swing all the bills, care for him, skipping out on special occasions (including my own birthday this month) and the pressures continue to build. I am out there rushing feverishly trying to find another source of income although I am set for now (money DOES NOT last), having people constantly asking me why I am not married yet or have children and right now I am glad I don't have that type of stress on my shoulders, all that is gonna do is give me a heart attack. Everyday when I wake up, I find more ways to ration my food supply. I just had my car fixed due to an idiot that decides to try and outrun the red light back in June and I am being forced to use my collision to have my car repaired and waiting for that GD reimbursement my insurance owes me for the rental. It is nice to know people who ruin your life admits they messed up but still, find ways to screw you over and take advantage of your kindness. Well, I have about had with trying to be the "nice guy" and I will do that anymore because it's sad to know you can not trust anyone. You are forced to build walls around yourself and add the roof so you don't get shit on by other people. I used to have a heart and now, I believe it has "gone with the wind". Ok, I do have a heart but now, I have stiffened up so much that I will be petrified before the storm has completely passed over. All I can do now and ask for more strength to survive the rest of my life. The pic I decided to use for this blog just goes to show the fire I have building inside me right now.