It feels so awesome to know that the things you’ve worked for, stressed for, and have watched others greedily accept right in front of you, pay off…at least a little bit, anyway. We had a talent show at our school last Thursday, so I decided, hey, stop being a pussy and get on the fucking stage. So I signed up, auditioned, and wiped the floor with the blood of my victims. In the process I got ditched by 3 of my friends, because, well, they don’t know what it means to actually have to try if it means for a long period of time. (Practice? What the fuck is that?! Ha! Now they want to stuff with me next year. Interesting how that works…) In the end, my shiest friend who is a beginner guitarist that I’ve been giving lessons, stepped up and said, “You know what, Amber? I’ll do it.” So, armed with our acoustics, my sweet-ass vocals, and the willpower to show people that we are vastly superior even with our ridiculously hyped-up nerves, we did it. I know it doesn’t sound too cool or metal to say any of that, but let me just say this: it was a stage, nevertheless, with an audience, and we performed my original work. (It takes a lot more courage to perform something that’s as personal as a song, as oppose to using the words and emotions of others. That, and I can’t stand when people butcher things, so I didn’t want to run that risk just now.) And it’s very hard to keep your voice from going all vibrato when you’re nervous…AND singing at a low alto level when you’re a soprano, not to mention while playing at the same time. As it turns out, we did very well, because almost a week later I’m still getting compliments on it. Ha! And then there are those people who are like, “It was really good, but your lyrics are so dark and depressing.” Well, duh, it’s a song about the conflict between the salvation of death and the passion for life, what more do you want? Oh wait, I’m sorry, it wasn’t very upbeat and about sex or drugs. (Take THAT, society!) According to one of my really cool teachers, I have the perfect indie-style voice, but honestly, I’m not exactly sure what examples of indie would be. The coolest compliments came from the students and staff that I don’t even know, but the absolute best was from a kid with Down Syndrome and another one with autism, who both told me in their own ways that they loved my song. THAT just made everything worthwhile . So while it may only be a stupid show at my school, it’s still a beginning to something I KNOW I can take all the way. (Next year, I’m ditching the acoustic for my electric, though. I’m ready to bring the sin. \m/)
Anyway, I’m also joining jazz band and possibly marching band so I can get more stage experience and, thus, confidence in my playing so that my nerves won’t fight me as much anymore. (It’s awesome, because my wicked-cool bro was all excited for me because I had actually sang in addition to playing. Apparently, he said he’s never actually done that, which is saying something because he’s been a musician forever. He said I had balls  ) Yup, that DOES sound veerryy dweeby, but hey, I’m just going to be better rounded as a musician. Remember, that kickass metal and rock is a deviation from the blues as well as jazz, so it’s all connected. As for marching band, I’d be in the pit as part of the percussion section, you know, because it’s not cool to have a guitarist in there. (Well, at least our school doesn’t normally have one.) But hey, at least I’ll get in some of that drumming that I wanted to learn.
On another note, I am officially part of National Honor Society, which will definitely be a nice addition to my transcript when I go to college. That, and I also got Student of the Semester, which is pretty cool, in my opinion. (They told me to put my activities/ hobbies, so I put: GUITAR!, Vocal Ensemble/chorus, Theatre Arts, sketching, photography, etc.…and Creeping. I’m waiting to see the response to that last one…) Maybe the 50 billion colleges that keep calling me will look at those things, (okay, I’m lying, only, like 3 have actually called, but I keep getting sent crap by email, so yeah. It’s actually very convenient because it shows me my options, though I’m still hell-bent on Musician’s Institute. )

AHHH! My damn computer needs to work: I have at least 20 pages to write on my individual research project for school, and I have a final project due next week for another class. Fucking technology: it never messes up until I actually need it. Now my computer’s completely crashed and I have no idea what’s wrong with it or how to fix it. All my info is on there…joy…
Anyways, hope everyone is having a good time doing where you are and whatever you crazies are doing. Just don’t forget to crank up those speakers or headphones or earbuds or whatever with whatever you’re doing. (I can’t wait until Disturbed comes back, but I know they’re definitely enjoying their time off. I heard David’s working with Nine Inch Nails on something, so that should be cool.) One quick question: does Slayer happen to really piss anyone else off, too? (Seriously, they have, like, 2 okay songs:“Post Mortem” and “Spill The Blood”. I think it’s mostly just the dude’s voice that ruins it for me, and the fact that most of their songs sound the same. Hopefully they aren’t as annoying in concert when I see them at Mayhem.) You guys can add me on Google+ if you want, so long as you aren’t a creeper, that is....well, it’s different if you’re like me, but that’s not the point…
Peace to all my brothers and sisters out there!
-your Satan maiden \m/
“It’s not enough to have a little taste. I want the whole damn thing, and now, can you dig it?!”