I’ve often wondered how my life could be different if just the simplest things were altered. Who would I be? I’d be….well; I guess I would be like a different version of me, right? If we had had the money to get me a flute when I was younger, would I still love metal as much as I do, especially now as a guitarist instead? If I had a smaller family instead of being the fifth child out of six, would my values be as strong as I feel they are? Would I perceive people in a new light? If I had a simpler mind and a lower determination, could I more readily accept things certain things, like defeat, rejection, or lack of recognition?
The problem with me is that I really can’t just accept things necessarily for what they are: there’s always why it is that way, why people view it as such, and what it could be or once was. I think it’s because maybe I’m viewing this world as one colossal book or video that can never, ever end. Everything was manufactured somewhere by someone who, as it turns out, is a life-form. Just think of how many memories and thoughts there are in just one mind, how many angles of perception, and infinite copies of the same thing. And then there’s how many stamps of fingerprints from just ONE person, the steps they take, the drops of perspiration they drip, the number of times they blink, breathe, twitch, sigh... There’s just so much in this book, and it forces me to accept that in all reality, I am probably not even a page. So for every page I think I write myself, perhaps only one word or one letter is printed in the ultimate volume that is all life. It’s no wonder people go absolutely crazy when they think of this: it’s just so damn…infinite! Now, let’s shake a little spice into the madness: consider the possibility of parallel universes, (hmmm, universes….interesting how that works when uni- means one…) Talk about forever: even the smallest changes could suggest that it’s a completely different world. Different colorations, alternate vocal inflictions, odd-looking nails…there’s just no end.
So maybe in another Earth, I believe in a heaven and not just the hell that is placed here. Or no one believes in those things. Maybe people really ARE just mindless drones and we’re actually ruled by flies. Maybe we can actually step right onto the moon like we’re walking into a house, or maybe there is no solar system whatsoever. Perhaps Earth is the only thing that exists and everything else is just blank white space, just waiting for some Almighty-whatever to spill ink all over it. Maybe…I don’t exist at all, and whatever I do is some weird phenomenon that randomly pops up in the other universes like a computer notification, and other-world scientists are devoting their entire lives to answering why the hell random posts keep popping up online.
And maybe, just maybe, I should stop rambling on and on about things that no one can figure out. : ) I really should before I start tweaking out or something, but like I keep saying, there’s an infinity to everything, including thoughts. You may die, or not (depending on what universe you live in, of course), but maybe it all is reincarnated and can live forever, (depending on how long that lasts), as something else. OR there could be certain numbers of people who are thrown into various situations and given the same basic thought to mull over, but the interpretations are specific to the individual.

Okay, yeah, I’m done now. (Mmmmental breakdown.) Don’t worry ladies and gents, I’m not crazy, just Disturbed. (But then again, don’t crazy people ALWAYS say that they’re not?) Anywho, so there’s your mind-f*** for the day, I guess. Go crazy! :)
“Questions are one of the only things that you can take freely and where you are not considered selfish for doing so. In fact, most people are even willing to trade one or two for not just any answer, but YOUR answer.”
\m/ -your Satan Maiden