Ah life, you dirty son of a gun: you bring me some goodness and then slaughter it down with an onslaught of machete swipes. As it turns out, I get to get surgery for my freaking gall bladder, which is really dumb because it’s not like I eat a bunch of greasy crap that would cause it get stones like it did. I guess the doctor said that it’s more common in women and it’s hereditary. So BAM! Two strikes against me, since my mom and grandmother both had theirs out…but NOT when they were only16, damn it! Well, it is what it is, I guess. Until I get it out, though, I have to take these freaking horse pills twice a day in addition to my wrist medicine. Hmmm, maybe I should just become a drug dealer and sell it all: at least then I’d have some kind of money coming in to actually save for a decent future. I’ve been freakishly obsessed with college-preparation lately, even though I have awhiles to wait, yet, (a point I am NOT happy about at all because THIS chick’s got a dream or 12 to fulfill). I really want to do music, theater, psychology, advertising, biology, and creative writing….there are other nerds for that math stuff . I would love to major in the performing arts, and I think that by taking advertising as well as writing and psychology I could market well. Music is probably my top choice as a specified major, specifically in metal (obviously), and I am beyond hell-bent in going to The Musician’s Institute in California….THEY, HAVE, EVVVERRRYYTHHHING: courses in electric and acoustic guitar, guitar craft, vocal improvement, independent artist development, guitar craft, as well as drums, keyboards, filming music videos, and classes specializing in how to break into the actual music industry itself ….EVERYTHING! I wouldn’t necessarily like to live in California, but that is one obstacle I am more than willing to set fire to, collect the ashes, and throw them into the depths of success. Besides, Synyster Gates went there and I think his wicked ability shows that it’s THE place to go if you want to be a successful metal figure….that, or he’s just naturally a guitar god (like Dan Donegan, of course). (Awww, Syn…now that David’s taken, I guess I’ve come to realize that you were the one all along…  )
If I took psychology, it would obviously be in mental/ behavioral health: you know, because “WE ALL ARE DISTURBED!” Once I do this, I feel certain that I could push my way into theater/film as well as bookstores as an author. As for biology, it’s just badass and I’m one of those lamesauce people who’s not going to let their kids on the damn electronics all the time when they could be taking a hike or playing badminton or something, (so the outdoors is definitely a big part of my life that I would like to make into a profession of some sort). I don’t know what I specifically want to do, but I think that marine biology just be utterly amazing.
As it turns out, it is extremely hard to save money that you don’t actually make and have no way of getting. I would absolutely love to get a job, but here’s the thing: no transportation. 1. No money to go and actually make the money. 2.Controlling a-hole of a parent that will not help you try to live better than they do (which, in my case, is honestly not hard to do.) I will give my old man some credit for something, though: he did fix my sweet SG electric for me. Actually, it makes me sad because he looks at it like he’s always wanted to play, but he’s just never had the resources to learn: now he thinks he’s too old to learn with his gout and health problems, which is bull because I believe you can learn anything at any age and in any state so long as you have the willpower and positive mentality to push forward.
So I got a letter for National Honor Society yesterday: I knew they wouldn’t be able to resist this awesomeness any longer . On a random note, how dumb is this: I was accepted two years ago to a Writing Institute in Connecticut, where college grads also attend, and I couldn’t do it because we didn’t have the money. I was part of the only 32% acceptance rate and would have 6 college credits at the age of 14, (which could have been transferred to any university or whatever), as well as probably have been published. Now let me tell you: having indestructible determination and no means to back it up is a major bitch. And it’s really awesome when you have rich grandparents just in Florida who promised your family that they would always help when it came to education, and then they sit back to watch you struggle or, if they do give you money, make you feel like shit and say that they “aren’t your personal bank”. That’s happened to my older siblings so far: I’m just waiting for my turn to piss them off  It’s like I say, “Money is both the cure AND the sickness.”

Anyway, so there’s another one of my rants. I’m pretty sure no one cares at all what I have to say since it doesn’t concern them, but hey, then you’d just be like all the other douches out there….so congrats on that if you are. If not, then please accept my apology and invitation if you ever want to chat with me via email or whatever.

Cherish those you loathe, for they will teach you how to love.
Peace! \m/ -your Satan Maiden