" All my devotion betrayed, I am no longer afraid, I was too blinded to see, how much you've stolen from me..."(lyrics from Deify) -David Draiman, lead singer of Disturbed

Addiction has touched many people in one form or another. For a large number of people addiction represents the cocaine habit of their neighbor or the gambling their uncle participates in. For me, addiction was a lifestyle. It wasn't any certain substance but all of them, the escape, the high, a few hours of uninhibited yet guilty pleasure.

These song lyrics have spoken to me for a long time. I devoted my life to not living but existing in a drug induced haze. I was afraid to try because I feared failing. On the reverse side of that, I feared success. By succeeding, I would have to face my life without the buffer that drugs provided. As for being blinded, that's pretty self-explanatory. During my recovery, I have gone through many types of therapy. One thing I have reached out to time and again is music. It has provided me with many things from inspiration to drive, from comfort to relaxation and many times it has served as an outlet for my anger.

Disturbed is one of my favorite musical groups. I've seen them twice in concert. Both times the lead singer David Draiman said, "You are now attending the largest group therapy session of your life!". He had no idea how true that statement really was for me. David Draiman is also the main songwriter for this group whose lyrics have spoken to me for over ten years. It's been said that his life has had a lot of ups and downs, different yet similar to mine.

He was raised in a Jewish family although now claims no specific belief system. He walked away from both his religion and his family in order to sing the music that spoke to him. His grandfather, a holocaust survivor, was displeased by his choice. Before joining the band, David triple-majored in Business Administration, Political Science and Philosophy. He was also seriously thinking of going to law school.

Throughout his musical career David has used his life experiences to draw on for his musical inspiration. One example of this is his production of the groups second album, Believe, in response to his grandfathers death.

Like David, I use my life experiences to fuel my drive and desire for a better life. At one time, I left every belief I had to make a different, and in my case better, life for myself and my young daughter. I'd like to believe that David and I are similar in the fact that we use music as an outlet for our turbulent emotions. I hope to have a better life through clean and sober living, music as therapy, and striving for ever higher goals. With David Draiman producing more music in the future, it's a guarantee I will always have his music as inspiration in my life. We are ALL Disturbed!